Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
