Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
