Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
