Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
