then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize
