Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
