New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
