it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
