You're like the curious george of whores
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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