awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
