so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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