I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize