So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize