I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.