Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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