never play flip cup with pint glasses
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
