I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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