and technically it was a rebound
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign