It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now