Texts From Last Night

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  (786): View more from Florida

  Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.

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  (786): Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative. http://tfl.nu/wo1e
  Replies (12) Good night (2082) Bad night (621)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.

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  (612): I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin. http://tfl.nu/g2gc
  Replies (127) Good night (5964) Bad night (714)
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  (916): View more from California

  How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.

  (1-916): View more from California

  Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.

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  (916): How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids. (1-916): Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions. http://tfl.nu/28ax
  Replies (27) Good night (4028) Bad night (1182)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling

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  (208): opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling http://tfl.nu/a6db
  Replies (11) Good night (6255) Bad night (664)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Princesses don't give blow jobs

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  (616): Princesses don't give blow jobs http://tfl.nu/euq0
  Replies (69) Good night (2409) Bad night (5195)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.

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  (970): So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am. http://tfl.nu/w1ts
  Replies (34) Good night (4689) Bad night (1361)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?

  (314): View more from Missouri

  you had an obligation.

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  (913): So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right? (314): you had an obligation. http://tfl.nu/0hhp
  Replies (20) Good night (8109) Bad night (814)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker

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  (254): his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker http://tfl.nu/f6e1
  Replies (19) Good night (940) Bad night (9058)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.

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  (404): I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway. http://tfl.nu/geao
  Replies (10) Good night (2567) Bad night (3699)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars

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  (608): The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars http://tfl.nu/t0d7
  Replies (8) Good night (1069) Bad night (655)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity

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  (410): So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity http://tfl.nu/7cj4
  Replies (2) Good night (923) Bad night (482)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet

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  (518): Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet http://tfl.nu/g9l7
  Replies (4) Good night (886) Bad night (515)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...

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  (603): Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life... http://tfl.nu/r8ks
  Replies (3) Good night (358) Bad night (557)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing

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  (304): You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing http://tfl.nu/lmmo
  Replies (1) Good night (357) Bad night (263)
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  (212): View more from New York

  he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"

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  (212): he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh" http://tfl.nu/j6pc
  Replies (2) Good night (377) Bad night (278)

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