I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
