He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
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I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
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Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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