Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
How does it feel to date your dad?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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