I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize