Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
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She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
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That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize