I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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