I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
this boner is exhausting
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
