I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
