my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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