we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
