I feel great
I just peed on a car
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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