That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize