She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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