We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I stole a fireplace last night.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize