I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
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If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
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Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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