i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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