Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
