She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
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she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
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She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I just gargled with NyQuil
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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