I'm gonna have a badass scar
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
