does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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