Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Randomize
