I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
