Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
