i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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