Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
