dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
