You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
