Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
What a dumb baby whore.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Randomize
