i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
