help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
