it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Randomize
