do herpes really smell.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize