You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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