he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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