can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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