i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
