My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
