Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
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