Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
