just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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