Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
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